11.09.2012

On being sick

Hayden recently came down with a nasty cold that knocked his little socks off. During his week of illness, he was in my arms for 20 of the 24 hours a day. Little H didn't feel good and noting really made him feel better other than being in his mama's arms. This level of need by another person is something I've never experienced before. It's huge and crazy and amazing. I never felt my mothering instinct more than when I was holding my stuffy sweet boy in my arms. Many times it was a battle between needing to sleep and feeling miserable and all I could do was hold my baby close, rock him and whisper to him while he ran his little fingers through my hair and cried to sleep.
Every night, Little Mister would start out in his crib as usual, but when he awoke for the first time ( after an hour or 2) he would inevitability end up in our bed cuddled up next to mama. Now that he's well again and back in his crib at night, I actually miss the feeling of my arm falling asleep under the weight if his head, the noisy congested little snores on my pillow, and most of all that little hand that would reach out at random intervals throughout the night and brush my face- just to check that I was still right there.
My heart filled a million times in a million different moments throughout our sick week. Sure, we were sleep-deprived, housebound, and I had no time to take a shower. But this week was one to remember. My baby needed me and I took care of him in the best possible way. No one tells you that motherhood will be like this. Or maybe they do and before you have a baby you can't really comprehend the level of attachment and need that is present in this relationship. Either way... It truly is the hardest, most time intensive, most beautiful job out there.

5 comments:

  1. So sweet! You are such a wonderful mama! xoxo

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  2. This is so sweet. You are such a wonderful mama! xoxo

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  3. aw, I'm sorry your sweet baby boy was sick; glad he's doing better now. I just wanted to tell you that I think this is a beautiful post on motherhood. I am not a mom, but I hope to be one day. As I constantly go back and forth about how soon I want kids, this makes my heart want them sooner rather than later. Thanks for the inside to glimpse to the ups and downs of being a mommy.
    p.s. also an adorably sweet photo!

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  4. Brooke, you're so kind! Having a baby is the best thing ever- if you decide to have kids soon, you won't regret it :)

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